Alyssa: What song are you going to masturbate to?
Me: Eye of the Tiger. Like always.
Alyssa: Good. That’s muh girl!
And that is, in a nutshell, my relationship.
To the bitch
who just walked into the community bathroom and said “Man it smells like poop in here.” I will fucking end you. I’m trying to take a dump here.
AnonymousThat awkward moment when you’re receiving Facebook messages from your girlfriend’s mother demanding that you admit that God’s way is right and that you leave said girlfriend alone. Sigh.
I want Sara’s haircut. Well, I want Tegan’s, too, but hers is longer. I need a goal that I can accomplish. My hair is so thick, though. It turns any cute haircut into something atrocious.
The internal struggle between desire for treat and hatred for doggie shoes (via)
goddammit my only weakness
OHMAIGAWD ALYSSA MUST SEE THIS
